Hi Mouse,

This is a hard one for a lot of us, I think. Trust, that is. I think it is a feeling, but it is also a choice. I can make a conscious decision to trust somebody, or not. I also think those feelings and choices can indeed be influenced by the actions of that other person. If somebody continually treats me with respect, thoughtfulness, and kindness, I may find it easier to trust that person over time. Then again, if somebody behaves in ways that are less than ideal, ways that are damaging or inconsiderate or coarse (or worse), either infrequently or on a regular basis, then I may have less trust for that person - often for good reason.

Sometimes I give people the benefit of the doubt if they have had an occasional lapse of behavior, especially if I am still getting to know them. Usually I've been glad I did this. I know my life has been rough, and trust doesn't always come easily to me. Nobody is perfect, and I'm not either! Somebody who is really un-trust-worthy will declare themselves sooner or later. I think, at least for myself, I tend to be overly wary and need to give people (and myself) a chance.

I'm working on trust now, too, trying to work on building a better relationship with my T. It really is work for me. I'm trying to focus more on the good things about him, and the good things in the working relationship so far, and hope things will continue to improve. I am trying to be more brave in our work each session, and hope that will help also. So this is an issue I am working on as well.

I wish you all the best.

Take care,
ErinBear