(trigger because I'm not entirely sure, dont want to hurt anyone)

... so today was my last session with my current therapist while she's on vacation. While she's away, I'm seeing my former therapist (before her). Sorry if that's confusing...

Two sessions ago, I made a suicide contract with her. She asked me to do it because she was worried about some of the stuff I accidentally let slip out. oops. Today she asked me if I was still having those thoughts... so I had to tell her I was, but that they werent as bad as the SI thoughts. She did a double take, because I dont normally mention it because I've been "clean" for over 100 days now. So then she was thinking about doing a "safety contract" with me, on TOP OF the suicide contract. Time ran out though so she didnt. I just told her I'd use the suicide contract but extend it to SI... might as well. She gave me a book I could borrow to read about SI. I got something from her! (excuse me while I'm happy for no good reason... I like tangible objects that come from therapy... easier for me, not sure why). Its a 'good' book thus far. Told her I read up on the topic, and that I had an extra copy of one of the books, and that I'd bring it to give to her. Not sure why ... it just felt like a nice thing to do, besides what will I do with two copies? She's recommended some groups that I should look into, from ones about how to deal with "abnormal" families to self-esteem ones. I'm also invited back to her psychotherapy group next year in September, whee!

I wonder if trying to do too many groups would stretch myself too thin? Probably, so I'll only try to arrange ones I can manage... best part, they're free.

Beyond that, I made an appointment for next week with my new/former T. So hopefully that will go well and he'll welcome me back. I did work pretty well with him.