Yeah, Mouse, I've been thinking about this trust issue as well. I used to think it's about the other person doing the 'right' thing, behaving in the 'right' way, and then I can trust them. But I realized, in discussing this with t, that trust is more like, how shall I put it, "I trust my own perceptions'', t doesn't have to do the right thing in order for me to trust her, rather, I need to feel secure in my own perceptions of my needs and trust my perceptions of my needs, and then communicate them to t. To rephrase, I need to trust myself to be aware of my needs, and when t (or other) behaves (or doesn't) in a way that is consistent with my needs, that I am aware of that. I can communicate that. If t consistently doesn't tune into my needs (need for empathy, vaildation, listening, being present, etc.) I will not trust her to be there for me. But trust begins with me. Am I making sense here?

I want to add that when I began the journey of psychotherapy about a decade ago, I did not trust myself. Depended on others to 'be there' for me, and if they weren't I blamed them. I've since learned that I need to be aware of what I need (or don't) and communicate that to the other, so they can be responsive.