I think terms like 'whining' are unhelpful, sometimes there is a hurt that needs to be addressed in order to heal and move on. I say this as a person who could pass a master class in repression! Denial turns inward and hurts us. It's finding the safe place and people to share with, where you will not be judged. Sometimes family are too involved in the situation to give that non-judgemental support. I hope you will find the place/people where you can express and be accepted even if it's just here.