You sound much like my ex bf, except there was absolutely nothing old fashioned about him. He was just plain old run of the mill controlling.


He also attempted to dictate with whom I may and may not text, and I too changed a guy's name to a girl.


He's reasoning was that myself and that particular friend had a fling, so it counted as temptation.


Pfft, Like I'm a dog on heat who doesn't know any better, like I can't be trusted....


My reasoning? Well firstly, I didn't have any inclination to fight over nothing. That was in the past, we both agreed we made better friends than lovers and oh yes, your insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness isn't my bloody problem. Either trust me or move on.


Was I deceitful? Yes, obviously, but I slept soundly at night because there was nothing fishy going on between me and that friend of mine. Our friendship didn't dilute my commitment to my bf by any means.


You wanna know something funny?


Years later, he and I are still friends, and I don't even know if my ex is still alive despite the fact that we have a child together.


The boss thing?

Idk could be tricky depending on the work environment / culture, job security, industry.

I've never been bugged by employers calling or texting me outside of work, it's usually necessary, and if its not, it's because the work environment is more like that of a family, so its not odd to receive friendly texts unrelated to work. My current job is like that, our team, manager included, does not stick to office hours, well then again we don't keep normal office hours, so would be hard to do so if we even bothered to try. When I really don't want to be bothered by work though, I personally switch off my phone or block work numbers until I'm available for work related stuff.


We have only your side of the story, so hard to say who is wrong and who is right, maybe nobody is either, and you two are just incompatible.


But me? I certainly would and do take huge issue with a bf who would call me defiant. Disobeying orders is defiant, not disregarding suggestions.

I don't need anyone's permission, nor do I need to obey anyone.


I am an adult.


Speaking of suggestions....

Most times we need a sounding board, not a handyman. We usually just need to hash things out verbally in order to clear our minds and figure it ourselves.


So unless she asks for a solution and outright ignores it, I suggest you don't get so worked up about it.


Idk, maybe my past has jaded my response to you, and that would deem it obsolete, but I honestly see a guy *****ing about his disobedient gf because he hasn't figured out a way to control her.


Suggestions don't crumble relationships, suggestions don't get people so worked up that they turn to strangers online.


But that's just me, I call it like I see it.


Thank God I have a bf who doesn't demand to have my passwords, a bf who doesn't attempt to dictate who are good texting recipients, a bf who respects privacy, boundaries, a bf who trusts me, without having to read through my phone in order to do so. A bf who is secure in himself and in our relationship. It's sooo much better than what I had become used to.

Thank God.