Thanks sister, I'm not sure why needing permission to be mad is so needed right now, but it is.

Tranquility - You are right. There is little ppl can say to change you inside, but I do wish close friend could help me feel more special

Mouse - I wish i didnt need them. sometimes it feels like I have hole in my heart but they cant fill it. I keep wanting them to, or aching for someone else to. It all makes me feel so worthless that no one wants to fill that need, but I look around and so many others have a host of ppl to make them feel special and needed.

I'm rambling.. only got 3 hours of sleep last night.
ev