I have not been here in a long time I think 6 months or so, because I have been feeling a lot better lately. I have been feeling that I might want to go back to school/work which is a very good progress for me. Feeling that I "want" to not that I "have to". I feel more motivated and powerful.
What is really holding me back are sleep problems I get quickly and easily.
The problem is that a) I am quickly and easily inhibited from sleep and b) when I do, itīs not like with ordinary people who are just "tired" I tend to be "Miserable" with not enough sleep. I feel that much unstable, depressed, tired and head-achy, not just that my head hurts itīs an annoying, nagging stressful pain behind my forehead also in my eyes. When that happens to me, itīs not like with ordinary people who can sleep very well the next night, but the opposite. When I had a tired day, I feel like my brain is in so much stress and strain from trying to stay up all day, it cannot shut down the next night either. And I get a lot of anxiety from that. The worst time for me in my life was when I was deprived of sleep.
The really bad thing is that sometimes knowing that I have to get up early or just having an alarm, even when itīs a not so early one, is enough to not let me sleep because I worry that I canīt but feel that I must and that puts me under a lot of stress. I used to never have that because I always "knew" that even when I had a hard time, Iīd always fall asleep after a few hours, never just in the morning, though.
Now the huge problem for me with moving on is that most things, work and school start in the morning every day.
Only setting an alarm on "one" day a week sets me under stress though.
Itīs not like I can force myself to do it either, because as I said when I canīt sleep or not enough, Iīm not just "tired" I am miserable and I canīt concentrate or feel well at all and canīt sleep the next night well either. So itīs basically setting me up for mental breakdown, which not exaggerated, really happens to me when I am deprived of sleep for too long.
Should I then go to a psychiatrist for medication? does this it even work?
Or is all of this a sign that I am not as well as I think I am or would like to be?
Thank you for your help
