I'm a big believer in direct assertive communication...I think avoiding it may just continue the pattern...

Write down what you want to say and rehearse it several times. That was what I would do when I had a employment seperation...they are never easy for either individual...being rehearsed you will be able to calmly let her know...

You still are empathetic towards her and you still get your quiet time...best of both worlds...right?