StressedMess, my T has recommended Shame and Pride by D Nathanson. I haven't read it but I've read shorter essays by Nathanson and what he says makes sense to me. Here is a discussion (and summary) of the book - I have only read parts of it: http://www.secthoughts.com/Psych/Sha...ersonality.pdf
I also like this affect psychology primer which discusses shame among other things (it is written in a slightly patronizing tone, but the content is interesting) : http://www.tomkins.org/wp-content/up...logy-Kelly.pdf