Quote:
Originally Posted by toolman65
If they are still texting each other more than 6 months after you came along then they were/are more than **** buddies.
Friends, friends w/benefits or whatever they have now is making you feel uneasy, correct?
You didn't put her in this "awkward space", she did. Expecting you (or anyone) to be o.k. with her continual contact of a past lover is unreasonable and disrespectful of your feelings.
You will never feel secure if your partner is forever reminding you that she has options. Unless you want to be forever policing her behaviour, i would move on.
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While I agree with the first bit of your post - that they aren't just f*** buddies, but the rest I disagree with.
There's nothing wrong with someone maintaining a platonic relationship with a past partner. It isn't unreasonable or disrespectful to anyone. Now, expecting or asking your partner to give up a friendship with an ex is much more unreasonable and disrespectful.
The discomfort the OP feels is their own issue to handle. Sure, it's a totally acceptable one. But ultimately it's for him to work with, not his gf. It is the OP making this an issue within the relationship, not the gf.
As Trippin said - if she's relying on an ex for the sort of emotions and relationship that you would expect out of a relationship then it's crossing boundaries. But if it's a clear friendship then there's nothing wrong with it. It sounds like when she said that he knows nothing will happen while she's in a relationship is demonstrative of her trying to make it clear to you that there is NO contact outside of the realms of friendship, even if she worded it in a way that can come across as keeping her options open. Especially as she's offered to show you the text conversations.