Direction and fayerody thank so much for your direction (Direction's directions?). I feel much, much better.

So, as fayerody says, do what I can deal with.

Somehow I know I will feel extremely guilty not going but if I go, I have to deal with a whole day of stress and being nice and pleasant to everyone. I have to learn how to NOT let guilt control my actions. Maybe this was the plan all along! Guilt always ends up me not making the right choices for myself. It's a life long struggle that stems from childhood I'm sure.

Will t r y to call and send a card! I want to NOT go, so let's see if guilt wins out...

In any case, I will take Direction's advice and review the relationship I currently have with my family and make some choices.

I appreciate you all and am happy I found this site!