I suppose the Tumblr vs. Facebook comparison isn't too common off of Tumblr, but for committed Tumblr users, it is a cold hard fact!

Afraid I can’t do that. The last time I expressed my interests more freely on PsychCentral I deleted my account following extremely hateful and/or nasty remarks made about me by irrationally paranoid and shockingly ignorant individuals both on the forums and in private messages. The fact is most people don’t understand me, which I accept, but the problem arises in that most people don’t realize how little they understand, and instead of educating themselves choose to remain within their self-imposed mental constraints of preconceived opinions. But that is for another day…

Yes I am still a moderator, and as a moderator I have the ability to read conversations that are reported for moderation.

In my experience in moderating OKCupid everything that is wrong with society, especially vis-à-vis relationships, is best exemplified online.

A.) I found it extremely common for women to respond to some of the nastiest messages, not necessarily positively but at least to acknowledge them, or to ‘fight back’ in the conversation. The content of their messages notwithstanding, I found it shocking that women would acknowledge those messages when I was almost universally ignored by women despite making an effort to truly connect with them.

The reasons I concluded for this are a.) many users on free dating websites are immature, and many women, despite taking the time to register, are frequently on dating websites not because they are looking for someone but because a friend of theirs registered on it or another service; b.) that women, for some bizarre, irrational, and frustrating reason, interpret ‘nice’ messages as indicative of a man being disingenuous; or finally c.) that many women do like a ‘bad’ guys, which I find unlikely but I am not a woman therefore I can’t completely rule it out as a possibility. (A fourth reason I will get to below.)

B.) I would recommend to any OKCupid user to refrain from answering those match questions. The matches are themselves useless – a woman that I was matched with stole like a $100 from me in real life – and I suspect that if you answer too many questions, it will give the wrong impression of who you are or tell too much to an otherwise interested user. Even I have been disturbed at some of the answers women have given to those questions, and if I am not mistaken, revealing too much on a dating service takes away the ‘mystery’ that women like in dates.

The last bit of advice I can offer to anyone using a dating service like OKCupid is to not feel discouraged if you don’t see any positive results!

If trying to learn all the unwritten and arbitrary ‘rules’ of dating makes you want to bash your head in against a wall repeatedly (it does for me!), then remember that online dating is, as Ptang eloquently said, a “whole new can of worms.”

For example, if you have seen enough profiles like I have, you will discover that users on dating services are the happiest people in the Western hemisphere! Seriously, I don’t think you will ever find so many “fun loving” people that are “living life to its fullest” anywhere else . I swear that many users copy and paste these and other slogans onto their profiles because each about me section reads identical to the next. I was so sick of reading the same nonsense on profiles that when I found a user that wrote about her struggles with depression, I made an effort to compliment her for writing that because it was so unusual to find a real world human with real world human issues. People don’t understand that when they are writing exaggerations and half-truths (if any truths) on their profiles that it makes it extremely difficult for someone else to relate to them.

Now I am ranting…so anyway…

What I am trying to say is that I don’t discourage anyone from using online dating services, but to keep in mind that everything frustrating and irrational about dating is exposed much more clearly online, and to keep that in mind if you aren’t getting any of the positive results you are hoping for! Take everything with a hint of salt as the archaic saying goes I think…

When I met my significant other I was so done with dating, relationships, women, and people in general after so many years of heartbreak and rejection that I said, " If I am destined to be alone forever, than so be it!" Out of nowhere came someone I hope will be my wife one day!

Don't give up!