I've often wondered why some people have this effect because when I'm up everyone's awesome, but when I'm down everyone sucks. I think that some people start having a problem that they have a mental illness and that the stigma of it is soul crushing, kinda of a personal embarrassment, that they just disappear. Like a pride thing. Not saying that what you are going through of which I have no idea, but just remarking. I hope things get better for you hun.