Hello whatswrongwithme02,

Welcome to PC Forums.

I can relate to some of the issues you mentioned in your post. I suffered for 9 months having symptoms close to yours. Sometimes, my wish in life was to get into a car accident and die! Also, I suffered from sever physical pain caused by my mental condition (which I came to know later) in several parts in my body, specially arms and chest.

I gradually started having social withdrawal which adds to the bad condition I already have.

I read your profile. I feel your pain and I understand that what you feel is true and real. The ONLY recommendation/suggestion I have for your is get professional medical help ASAP. Go see a Psychiatrist. I made a mistake of not seeking help right away when I felt something is wrong with me.

I understand there's this stigma about mental issues. But consider yourself lucky being in the US. I live in a country where If I confess to even my closest friends about my depression they will think I am crazy LOL !

So please get help. You need it. If you feel that you don't deserve help (which by the way this is a whole other story, I read your negative words about yourself, this simply should stop, I know it is easier said than done but you get the point. You are a unique worthy human being) Sorry I drifted away with my thoughts, so yes, seek help at least for your family that you love and care for.

Please let us know your next step and what are you thoughts.

Stay Strong!