Scarlet,

time to take a deep breath and hug a puppy.

If any of the things occur, you will find a way of dealing with them. You are capable of this. And while it is not impossible that some of the things happen, they will not happen all and not all at the same time.

I think the key is to try to communicate as calmly and clearly as possible. Write stuff down for her if necessary. She is not going to over react if you tell her you have sui ideation and SI, but also tell her which coping strategies you have and that you have emergency plans in place for when you cannot handle a situation.

If you don't like her immediately, give her a chance. Sometimes, we have to attune to new people and situations. When I started with my t, I thought he was ok and would be capable of helping me part of the way. But I wasn't thrilled to have found him. Now, I'm so glad I didn't go looking for someone else because he is just awesome.

Attachment is likely going to happen. So is transference. Therapy doesn't work without it. Voice your concerns to the t and discuss with her how you are going to tackle this together. There is a way of working through transference and attachment. And they are normal feelings that you don't have to be ashamed of. Ts have to be prepared to handle these things professionally.

Hugs!