Zen, I believe I dream in color as well. You are pretty amazing the way you work through and process feelings and events in your life. You are so good at articulating your inside process. I know that we had some discussion about by not si-ing when the urge is there you are afraid you'll do more damage if you wait. I had never thought of it like that before. But, I am sad that you need to si, I am sad that you've been scratching. i am sad because I know that means you are in umbearable pain. I am sad because your body does not deserve to hurt. I am not saying you are bad, I am saying you are good and I am sorry that you have that much pain. I know that place all too well. I am sending you comfort.