:-/

It's such a complicated matter. I dealt with this (still deal with this) issue for a long time. When I was finally diagnosed, I decided to focus on myself rather than on being in a relationship. I was single from 2006-2010, with a few dates here and there and one short-term boyfriend that was a BAD idea.

Anyhow, I'm not sure how old you are, but when I was 21 I fell "in love" with someone. It was a very intense/difficult time for me because my bipolar disorder was really starting to show through after having bouts of depression and some mania. This guy actually fell for me first, but I was on a hiatus after having my heart ripped out by my ex (3 year relationship).

I ended up falling for the guy and he had lost the interest other than being friends because I had been so stand offish and it broke my heart. For like, two years straight.

It got easier once we stopped talking, and once I got other hobbies. Writing has always been my go-to, but it made things worse then because all I would write about is him. I literally have several journals from those years and while there are a few spots where I don't mention him, the majority of the entries mention him at least once.

I do not want to seem harsh nor do I want you to take my word as law, but, generally if people do not want to be with you it is with reason, whether it is them, or because of personality clashes (and sometimes this is just because of your personality, and it isn't a bad thing).

Try to find something healthy to keep your mind off it. It's really hard, but it gets easier and then eventually one day you wake up and realize you haven't thought of the person in a while.

It gets better. But it isn't healthy to dwell and you really should try to move on in your own life, for your mental and emotional health sake.