Hiya Scarlet...

I love the apple pillow too, how perfect! Your fiance found that for you? He did good!

re: You looking up the new T (her age, her family, her ethics training, her tipsy cleavage ) - just be careful! I do that too... not just the looking up stuff, but the picking all kinds of random bits, and analyzing them to death to try to figure out "who this person is" and if it's going to be a good fit. And, I think it hasn't worked out for me... It seems like it should, it seems SO logical... but in reality, people (even Ts!) are so much more complex, that until you're in the room face-to-face actually interacting with them, there's no telling how well you'll click.

Just my opinion. (So, I thought my T might actually have a pilot's license, and might even be teaching people to fly in his free time! Why? One of his profiles mentioned that he works with "aviation professionals". When I mentioned wanting to take flying lessons at my first session, he made some comments that sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Richard Bach came up in conversation at one point, and he quickly pointed out that he's a pilot, and talked about his recent crash. Etc. I finally asked him, with great anticipation b/c I thought - "this would make him the coolest T EVER" and NOPE! He's actually afraid of heights! Go figure... all my data and analysis, all totally wrong!!! I was crushed, btw! LOL.)

I have said this before, and I agree a million percent! I have no idea how it could work though, given some therapists are GREAT with some people, but AWFUL with others. It seems so hard to predict how two people will hit it off. I don't know... it sure would make things easier. There HAS to be an easier way, don't you think?

*hugs* Hang in there. I really hope that the new DBT T does a good job of being kind, empathic, and compassionate when you meet her, and that you get a good feeling and feel like she's a good fit! Fingers crossed for you... (we need a fingers-crossed icon!)