I'm not sure if he ever had that on the top of his list or not. But all other partners he's had have had orgasms so easily that I don't think he had to think about it. It also didn't help that early on it hurt every time he touched me and he became afraid to touch me so he's still sort of uncomfortable with touching much even though I've acclimated to pain and/or it's not as bad as it once was.

So I guess he thinks he's just hurting me even when he's being gentle. I had a lot of difficulty with touch in general in the beginning anyway. It's sort of hard to explain, but I didn't know how to touch someone at all (not just specifically what touches work best with him, but how to touch someone at all). Apparently, that's off-putting, but I learned very quickly. Maybe deep down it still bothers him though?

We've tried watching porn together, but it's difficult finding something that we're both comfortable with. He only likes soft core porn, but there's only a small window of soft core that does anything for me. I do wonder if his aversion to any porn that has penetration in it is because of his lack of confidence when it come to penetrative sex. I can't stand watching porn with women having (fake) orgasms or with women at all when I'm having issues either.

But I guess it wouldn't matter if I'm completely turned off as long as he's watching something he's comfortable with, right? Or I could just ignore the actual porn I guess.

I guess I have trouble understanding the lack of imagination here. I had almost zero experience when I met him and I have a huge list of sometimes pretty imaginative things I want to try. But it gets boring if I'm the only one coming up with stuff to try because I know exactly what's going to happen.

He's afraid to try anything new unless someone else is leading. And if it doesn't work, it can be difficult to get him to try again. And about different positions, how do I teach him how to do them? He literally can't figure out how to penetrate me from different angles and I don't know how to help. I never realized it was difficult for men to figure out. Unless he's just not hard enough to penetrate me in the first place.

Short of a neurological disorder (which has never been checked for), I don't see what that would be. I'm not on any psychiatric medication. I seem to not process sensory information correctly though and can't feel pain the way I'm supposed to. I mean, I almost always burn myself while cooking (which is why I don't like cooking) and I don't always feel it at all. The last time I cooked something, apparently I splashed hot oil all over my hand. I didn't feel it at all, but I had red dots all over my hand afterwards. And some days I'm in so much pain (for no apparent reason) that I can hardly move. And I have issues with sounds that have led to meltdowns. But how do I explore the possibility of a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's, or something similar with a doctor? I can't go in acting like I have any clue what's going on or suggest that they refer me to a neurologist. I'm sure if I give them my symptoms they'll just refer me to psychiatry instead of neurology.

Or did you mean I should go to a gynecologist specifically? I just saw one last semester for my birth control. I was having a similar issue then, so you would think if something was wrong, they would have told me or it would have shown up on a test.

I'm not even sure anymore if I want to find a cure for anorgasmia. Unless I'm in a very specific position and being touched in certain ways, the orgasms are uncomfortable if not downright painful. And I can't seem to acclimate to it very quickly.