Thanks, Direction. I understand what you're saying. Maybe it was just the dream I had this morning because of past events.

There's a lot more to why I feel like I do which just compounds my feelings in the dream. There's been several times that all my kids have gotten together, pictures taken and I wasn't "allowed" to be there. I have a daughter with Borderline and she won't have anything to do with me. One time I wound up in a psych ward because of a "family reunion" I wasn't allowed to attend. Long story and I don't want to get too deep into it. Don't feel emotionally strong enough right now.