It's more soul crushing to know that something's wrong and not have a clear answer. I'm actually just starting therapy tomorrow, and finally getting that answer after so much patience is going to be a very comforting experience. I feel it will make me content.

I can however understand why people would drift off after finding out why, I've been there. It's more in the fear of not being able to operate in the world. You feel you will be sick forever, so you lose your way.

But then I started thinking "What's the point in these trivial ill feelings, none, they just spin you in circles, they make things pointless." Something sparked! Some sort of fire started inside me. I made it my mission to fix myself and I became determined.

Now when I drift off now and again, that fire always keeps me going. I learned not to think that way. I learned how to keep picking myself up no matter how many times I fall. I gave myself constant faith, even if one side of me always wanted to quit.