I don't dislike you (& at peril of getting sanctioned) I just truly feel sorry for you because you put yourself through crisis after crisis. I read your threads...& it seems you can't allow yourself to be happy. For example, about a week ago you were so happy that you had a new pdoc & had high hopes. Now, you're back digging a hole for yourself like you did a month ago (landing in the hospital).

I sincerely wish you were able to enjoy some happiness, or at least some stability for some period of time (even a few weeks). I wasn't being "mean" by suggesting you read the "Bipolar Check In Thread." Rather, it deals with many of the same issues you're dealing with & might not make you feel so alone. It also speaks in voices of those who have defeated their demons & found periods of happiness. I'm bipolar & have my bad spells, so I most likely know some of what you're dealing with. It's not easy, but dwelling on it isn't exactly healthy. "Bipolar Success Stories" is another possibility to give you ideas to free yourself from the bondage of bipolar. Maybe doing more reading will help you stop the slide (if not make the bad feelings go away), rather than writing every time you have a feeling. You & I aren't the first ones to feel the bad stuff that accompanies bipolar.