I've been having these dreams, well this dream over and over again about an intruder and an extreme amount of violence. I'll have it three times a night. I've had it my whole life, but it's getting scarier. I've always known that I'm going to die violently. I'm hearing things at night. I don't trust anyone or anything. I'm so scared to sleep. I loaded my gun and am keeping it under my mattress for the moment things go pear shaped. Things everywhere in my life are getting really shady. I'm drinking like a gallon of caffeine a day to get thru. I can't figure out if I'm depressed or not. I guess it doesn't matter. People keep telling me I'm paranoid. Maybe I am. But what if you just know?

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