I missed a lot of college over the last two weeks. Attended 3 out of 10 possible days.. which isn't acceptable from college's perspective and from mine. So I've had to catch up on work, it's getting closer to exams and as well as catching up on missed work, I've also had to revise work done earlier in the year.

I've been up for the last 6 hours doing this work. I get home from college this week at 4ish, sit down for an hour and then do work. Over the last week, I haven't been sleeping until 3 or 4am because I'm constantly doing work, revising or catching up on missed content.

I'm getting constant headaches, dizziness, I'm not eating as much.

It all boils down to new medication, causing me to be even more tired than usual. So tired I fell asleep in the library the other day as well as on the bus. (I spoke to my psychiatrist, she said these side effects would disappear eventually.) So I'm still anxious (new anxiety medication), I'm still stressed, I'm now also tired and exhausted and way out of my depth with the amount of work I missed due to being too tired and too exhausted to even get out of bed for a week straight.

As well as doing all this work (revision/learning the content I've missed) I'm also being asked to do homework, which consists of 30+ mark exam essays due in within 3 or 4 days. I do three subjects, two of those subjects hand out 3 essays a week to do.. which is insane.

I've missed so many essay hand ins that I'm also being asked to do extra ones to make up for the ones I've missed.

And this is only my first year of college. Next year, my last year, is the more important year. In which the workload doubles, I'll also have to do an extra course called an EPQ which doesn't actually count for much except Universities like it. EPQ's involve doing a dissertation style essay on a topic of your own choice over the course of a few weeks at the end of the year.

I can't wait.

I'm stressing and it feels like it's all going to come crashing down and I'm going to break.

I can't ask college to lessen the workload because I already had them reduce me to 3 subjects instead of 4 (everyone is required to pick 4 subjects, I pleaded my case for mitigating circumstances, i.e. mental health, and got it lowered to 3). And I have already had a lot of leeway with my attendence throughout the year due to various circumstances, so I can't ask college to do anything more.