Do you believe the people here on PC are less that helpful? Most of us are urging you not to self destruct again and work with your mental health team.

Ask yourself if it is possible that in your current state your thinking could be hampered by the withdrawl and what seems perfectly reasonable to you(not restarting your meds until you've compleated a involuntary withdrawal) is a result distorted thinking. Do you want to possibly end up in the hospital or again put your child though a crisis based on this distorted thinking.

Your T and several people here have pointed out the harm this can do to you. I wonder if you like being in a crisis and like the attention you get when you need to be rescued again and again from your impulses?