My Support Forums - View Single Post - Flashbacks as hallucinations...is this PTSD? (Triggering content hidden)

SunIsland · Mar 26, 2015, 12:50 AM

I’ve had flashbacks for years,

Possible trigger:

ever since the child abuse.

However, last night (and one other time a few months ago) I had a flashback (probably a flashback anyway) as a hallucination…or at least I think it was a hallucination. I mean I know I wasn’t seeing something real, but I’m not sure what to call it exactly.

The basic (non-triggering) version: I saw something reflected in a window that couldn’t have been there, something related to my PTSD. It’d have had to have been in the room (for various reasons described in the hidden sections), and there wasn’t anything, so I know I wasn’t seeing something real. It was like a flashback, only it wasn’t in my head, I literally saw it in the window.

More triggering, more detailed version:

Possible trigger:

I saw the person who abused me walking past behind me, only for an instant, reflected in the window. There was no one outside however – no cars (not moving ones anyway), no people, nothing - and it was late at night. The reflection was lit up in a way that suggests the abuser would have been in the room. However, my cat wasn’t concerned at all (he doesn’t like strangers so he’d have run off if this person was really there) and all the doors were locked (not tampered with in any way), so it had to have been a hallucination of some sort.

More details, even more triggering than the previous ones:

Possible trigger:

The abuser would do that when I was little – walk past in a frightening manner, so I’d know I was being watched at all times. The sort of thing that would terrify a child. So I’m sure this reflection is a memory. But I don’t experience it as a memory – I literally see it in the window. It looked like a real reflection, but it couldn't have been. Above reasons aside, the abuser doesn't even know my location. So there's no way it was real.

Is this a part of my PTSD? Can PTSD cause a hallucination like that, or should I look at other possible causes? (I am on some medications, I could look at side effects from those.) I’m just not sure though, because the hallucination relates to what caused my PTSD and is almost like an external flashback. What do you think? And is there anything I can do about it, or do I just need to manage it like a regular flashback?

Thanks for the help :3