I couldn't tell if you were saying you are starving yourself for your husband or not. Please don't do that. No marriage worth having is worth starving oneself. Do what you need to, to protect your assets and to ensure you have what you need. Your husband should not be able to cut you off with no telephone. If you need to buy a cheap phone and a minutes card, do it, but don't let him cut you off from the world.

Start counseling for yourself. Strong women are the best antidote to controlling men. And vice versa, for men who are in situations similar to yours. Decide what you are willing to accept (and what you are not willing to put up with) and then act accordingly.

Marriages should not include other women (or other men). Work with your counselor to help you come to a decision about what you want, how you want your life to go, what you expect from a marriage and a husband, and then stand firm on that. Do you run the risk of your husband walking out permanently if you stand firm and say "no more"? Yes. But that would also indicate the poor state of your marriage, too. You deserve better.

Involve your pastor. Get marital counseling from the pastor and if your husband won't go, go alone to at least discuss the situation.

I wish you happiness.