Thank you for all your replies I greatly appreciate it. I am scared to death of any sort of surgery, but my mind tells me otherwise all the time.
I guess I'll have to talk to my therapist about it...it is a little embarrassing.
Although, I have made a BIG step today and looked in an actual full length mirror, without breaking down, crying and going into a severe state of depression. It may sound insignificant, but I haven't done that in years...I hope this is not just a bought of happiness or energy, and it'll disappear later on, today.