My husband has difficulty understanding that when my bipolar is cycling (I usually have rapid cycling episodes), I act differently because I am trying to cope with my feelings and symptoms without medication. Sometimes this means I am not a very affectionate person. I try to balance it out, but it doesn't always work out. He takes my symptoms (withdrawal, irritation) personally and starts fights with me, which then causes me to feel worse.
He is currently in counseling. He has jealousy/trust issues and after a truly horrible time, I told him he either got help or we get divorced.
I have been off medication for four years (ever since we got together) and have handled my issues fairly well. I have not been hospitalized nor have I had any episodes that I haven't been able to handle on my own.
Currently, I am in a severe depressive state. I came down from mania and my husband is not understanding that I am NOT neglecting him or ignoring him or cheating on him (those are his feelings on it- if I'm not giving him sex I'm cheating). He feels like I'm not happy with him (not true, other than right now, because he's truly making me miserable on top of everything else I'm already experiencing) and I'm so TIRED of repeating myself.
I am at a loss. I want him to just understand and give me space without making it into some negative thing, which seems impossible for him. When I ask him to just back off, he takes offense and it turns into a fight.
I truly love my husband, but I'm wondering if it is just impossible for us to be together because he is so emotionally needy and I need to feel free to take time to myself when I'm having bouts of mania/depression.
Any thoughts?
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Generalized anxiety disorder - 1998 -
Bipolar I disorder - 2007 - not medicated
Fur mom of five buns and one Australian Shepherd pup, knitter/crocheter/hand letterer/painter.
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