You are a remarkably strong person to have gotten this far. Smart money says that you will continue to persevere. IDK what it's like now, but 25 years ago I was on the affective d/o's ward that shared its space with the ED program. They were a godsend to alot of people. Hopefully, their program will be that for you, too.

I am pulling for you. For years, it was my dream to be a doctor. For me, it's a good thing that I didn't go through with it. Still, I can think of no higher calling than the medical and psych professions. I like what CANDC wrote about doing online doctoring, at least for now. It may help keep your brain sharp as well as give you a place to help others heal. I was a Respiratory Therapist for a short time and still remember what it was like to help others.

Continue to stay strong and inspire others. Enjoy your closable door. Oh, and the RT in me is screaming, "Don't forget to take some deep breaths every now and again and let it out slowly through pursed lips." (Most people would probably benefit from doing that.)