Sweety I was born bipolar and very quickly abused as a baby which caused alters to happen in my personality. I was all honors up to high school, but picked on nonstop for being "different". I even did 2 years at a community college. I had promise of a great career, so they kept saying. Then it all fell apart. I wrecked lives from then on because I seethed a hate for society and everyone that has ever bullied me. I turned into a severe addict and alcoholic, going through the moods like a mad person, selling coke to all my friends and enemies. I drifted from bed to bed, state to state dealing with all the wrong people. In and out of jails. I didn't want to look in, I got lost hoping to die from overdose. It was finally at 35 I finally sobered up. It was like waking up from a nightmare. I was still alive, now what do I do? I've been in and out of treatment and hospitals since then. I even got married and have a child. It was at age 43 before I got diagnosed 3 years ago with 1/2 my life in the toilet thanks to MI. But today I'm grateful to know why I behaved in a manic/depressant way. I now finally have hope to a more normal life through treatment that I should of got 35 years ago. I want to make amends to the people in Texas and Arkansas for my erratic behavior. Who knew? I didn't and nobody cared. Even if I have 5 more years left, at least they are going to better than the first 43. I hope that you find your peace with it.