Doesn't sound particularly abusive to me. A lot of parents hit their kids. I got hit, so did my sisters. Did she say mean things a couple of times and that's it? Maybe she was just a mean old woman, some people can be like that.

Abusers do very specific things in how they treat you. An abuser's goal is to systematically break you down, weaken you, make you more dependent on them and turn you into a more pliable victim because they are attempting to gain something from you that they lack within themselves. It's a very complex, effective and insidious process.

A normal, healthy parent would behave in a way that assisted your maturation and development. An abusive parent, who isn't really a parent at all, would do the opposite. An abusive parent encourages over-dependence and intentionally stifles maturation because they are only interested in exploiting you for their own selfish purposes. The more mature and strong you become the harder it is to easily victimize you. Once you are broken and depleted, when you're at your most vulnerable state, then you will be discarded and all of the blame will go along with you. It's the same concept as wringing out a rag and then throwing it in the garbage. This type of situation is not simply "a part of life", it's an abhorrent tragedy which befalls many innocent children who probably end up very bewildered about the whole thing. It's not as if once the process is over someone shows up to finally tell you what's been happening. You may find out just by happenstance one day many years later like I did long after it's too late to do anything about it.