Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEagle
Nothing wrong with keeping people at arm's length, or further if necessary. Once you've been stung bad it's only natural to develop methods to protect yourself. Keeping people at a safe distance is vital imo, unless you want to risk re-living traumatic experiences over and over again for your whole life.
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When it becomes a crippling fear of getting hurt, it is. Being stung doesn't mean I have to develop methods and traps to protect myself.
Yes, keeping some people at a safe distance can be a good thing, but when people have fears of getting hurt that it cripples their interpersonal relationships to the point of sabotaging them that's not healthy, that's just living with the fear that just because your bad experiences were bad you have to expect your future experiences with people to be bad, which is the sort of mentality I approach others.
I don't want to relive my traumatic experiences, but I also feel that there's something wrong with me because of my behaviors towards others if I am so cripplingly terrified of even asking for help when I need it or fear rejection and judgement so much it keeps me from developing new relationships in a healthy manner.