i dont know if anyone will understand. Is it normal not to feel anger towards your abusers? I have read a lot of threads saying many find it difficult to forgive their abusers. Am just different. When i was abused for the first time, i felt so sad and angry. I used to imagine cutting him into pieces. But i didnt want him to be in trouble. So i didnt report it. Didnt want to spoil his family. Now i have been abused many times by different men. I dont feel angry on them. All that anger is on me. I feel like i deserve it and am responsible. Dont know why. I dont want any of them to be in trouble. I dont hate them. I believe they have a reason. Never want to see them again. Still i dont want any bad to happen to them. I hate only myself. Hate like hell. I always imagine killing myself, not them. All those anger is on me. Is it okay to feel that way?? Am so confused.