Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
He shouldn't need constant attention, but he has a right to a daily dose of some kind of attention. I don't think we can use a psych diagnosis as an excuse to be irritable and withdrawn. Do you work? If so, does your behavior at work change as you cycle through moods? Maybe you need some counseling to learn to manage your illness.
Whether your maintaining a marriage, or a job, you can't take the attitude that: "I'll be emotionally present for my husband, when I feel up to it." I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's what I hear when people say they need space. Maybe I'm hearing that wrong. To me it kind of sounds like "Leave me alone."
It sounds like you wouldn't mind all that much being out of this marriage.
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By space I mean I don't want to feel like I have to take care of him and myself while I'm dealing with this. He will ask me repeatedly if I'm okay, are we okay, am I unhappy with him, did he do something.
He seems to be under the impression that I am mad at him or unhappy with our relationship rather than understanding my disorder. I do not want to be left alone- I just want him to understand instead of taking my mood personally.
Yes I am employed full time and work 45-50 hours a week. It is a struggle because as I'm sure you know, remaining employed is a task when you feel like it doesn't matter and would rather lay in bed all day. My boss is thankfully understanding and doesn't say anything when I'm not quite on my game. I told him I'm not sleeping well and he said he appreciates that I'm still showing up.
It has nothing to do with me not being emotionally present. I am always here but he gets weird and thinks I'm cheating or going to leave when I'm down.
He started a fight with me that ended very badly because I came home from work and told him my windshield wipers stopped working on the way home. Literally jumped down my throat and told me that I was *****ing. I never complained I r said anything other than "hey my windshield wiper motor died." And he really went off on me and I just said, "I just thought you should know I'm going to have to get it fixed."
And then a fight pursued. And I said I was sorry I told him and that I won't tell him anything negative things from now on.
He said he expects me to take care of myself. And by that, he wants me on medication. I'm not going back on medication because we REALLY did not get along or have an intimate relationship when I took medication. I told him I'll see a counselor with him. But I'm not going to take medication because he thinks I should.