My thoughts on family in this true life tale:

I called my friends mother. I told her, I know this secret about your daughter and I told her I would keep the secret if she ate, but I went to visit her and she is succumbing to her anorexia again. She ate 3 saltines in 2 days time because I chided her about eating and her cupboard only has 1 mason jar for water and 1 pack of crackers. I know you didn't know this about her - but it started when she was gang raped in college and she needs therapy.

Her parents talked about it, and they called me back. Their response was - We decided that since our daughter didn't tell us these things that we are not going to do or say anything to her.

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Lesson, when we are adult - we take care of ourselves. If you are lucky enough to have a supportive family, great! If you do not have a supportive family, stop trying to get them to behave how you want. They will pull you down to share their craziness.

Instead, become as healthy as you can for you. Any family members worth anything will ask you questions and use you as a role model. All the others cannot be helped.