I don't know - I thought there was a theory that if in therapy you are given the caring that you didn't experience as a child that it will change your neurology and will be helpful. You say you are wanting something you can't have - but maybe you can have it, she has said the words and says her actions speak it too, you see it in her gaze too. Does she feel somehow that speaking it over and over is not going to be helpful, even though she does feel it?