My mother is very self-centered and judgmental. I have an older woman who has a daughter my age (who I'm friends with) and she has cared for me. She can't *be* my mom, but she cares for me, at times, in a way that is so gentle and thoughtful. It's not a perfect fit, and at the same time it has been healing.

My T told me that it's okay to get that from other people. I know you want it from your T, but would it be worth exploring to see if there are older women who can be mentors in a sense and give to you that affection and attention you need and want?