Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccer mom
What I want from her is what I never got from my mom. I want her to tell me all the time that she cares about me, won't leave me, etc. I want her to tell me she's there for me anytime and I'm not alone. I can feel I'm getting ready to grieve for my mom and I feel very alone in the process. Deep down and intellectually, I know these are things she can't give me. She can't be my mom or give me what my mom didn't. Instead, she's supposed to help me come to terms with it, grieve it and be okay without it.
But, how do I stop wanting it? I used to tell myself that I don't need it and suppress it. That process isn't healthy and isn't really working anymore.
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Your post made me sad. I am also struggling with coming to terms with what my mom has not been able to give me. Without knowing it I turn people into mother figures and get angry when they too don't give me love and care I desperately want and need. Then I look back at it and get mad at myself for being so stupid.
Sometimes it feels like the grieving process will never end. But it does, I've heard people do it, even with horrible childhood. Must be possible. Not to not have any pain but to not experience so much suffering. Hang in there.