I'm struggling and trying hard not to be. Eating is getting harder and harder. Nothing sounds appetizing. I open and close the fridge, open and close the pantry, walk away with another cup of coffee. Weight is more or less stable - I think I've lost the ability to really lose weight unless it's truly in relapse mode.

I don't want the eating disorder back. Yet it's daily getting harder to make myself eat. Absolutely no appetite. I moved... so no therapist and no nutritionist, not even a doctor. It's me this time. I have to do this myself. Which means I have to get honest (thus coming back here) and I have to make myself eat. Please hold me accountable to that.