Hey yall, I was driving to work on the freeway and work is 15 minutes away so I had a lot of thinking time to think. So I pulled over and wanted to jot some of them down because I'm a self employed designer and I can do that, lol. I was thinking about this discussion topic and I know that "everything" is a lazy way to say "everything" so let me clarify.

First off, I'm not DID, I'm just crazy, and this place is the best place I fit in. The first 18 years was hell till I escaped at 18 years old. The only coping skills I had was to stay withdrawn to endure the beatings. I was like a mindless zombie through all of it with no personality. When I got screamed at I'd blank out. When I got hit, I'd come too but be in horror mode. Even at school all the other girls made fun of me, and so did the guys. I had very few friends and stayed in my own little space. Pretty normal, right? I don't know. After 18 I had zero coping skills to deal with life, so I spent the next several years trying to build some.

I've noticed that my triggers are:

People- I can't relate to people, so I have several alters for that. I've got a couple to deal with males, and I have several to deal with woman. Others to deal with bosses, kids, azzholes, biitchs, friends, etc. People never know because they actually see one version of me that's required to deal with that individual. Sometimes we slip up and get a little mixed up because of whatever, but it's small because we recover right away.

Job- I'm my own persons, I do everything. Depending on the job, I need a different skill set to do each. Everything is a job, from family life to work, to sewing, to cooking, to car repair, to raising a child, to musician, etc. I've got an alt for that. Even for sex I have both genders to have fun with!

Extreme emotions- when I get over the top emotional, another alter would take over. For instance, when my partner and I are in a screaming fight, I'll switch and the fighter would disappear and a happy alter would come out. Boy does that piss off my partner! Lol. I'm smiling and laughing like nothing's happened. Deep distress is another. When I'm in my lowest of lows knowing it's the end of it all and I'm about to kill myself, a soothing calm voice would comfort me and then I'd switch and the tears would instantly dry up and I'd feel light hearted and happy, and I'd forget why I was so distraught and get up and bounce away like nothing happened. It has saved my life numerous times.

Situations- it depends. Like when I'm scared and I want to scream and run, a tough alter comes out and now we're in stand your ground or attack mode. Place in life, which means an alter becomes host for that period of time. I've been a many different things for years even.

Places- I sometimes hate shopping, but I have an alt for that. Boy she sure loves shopping! Lol When I'm at home I get to relax, that's where I mostly come out because I'm the motherly type, the nurturer. The one that is the home keeper. I've had a lot of time off that's why I've lived on here, but it's spring time and everyone now wants to dress up their homes and this is when we get busy. Jail- I got a tough one for that. Meeting clients, there's another, all business like kissing butt and stuff.

Those are the major triggers but I have quite a few lesser ones. As you can see, one can say that's normal, sure I am. Normally crazy. The only difference is that I know that I become someone else through feel. Each alter has a different attitude, mind set, gestures, manner of speaking, intelligence level, write differently, way of thinking and seeing things. When I switch, I barely remember anything of what the skills are for a job, the memories are dreamy, or almost everything of what they were doing prior to a switch- just foggy snapshots of it even though I'm in control of each personality. My day, week, year, life is segmented with holes. Sometimes I have to go digging for the memories so that I don't look like the crazy person I am. I know it's not from drinking because I'm 3 days sober now.

Now combine all this with the multi-layers of bipolar, we now have got a hot soup of crazy going on! Lol

Since I'm just the homebody, and since this is my world here in PC, I drove us to work thinking. Now our designer person is about to take over in a minute because the client is another 500 feet away and is a male. Well I got to go. So that's what I go through every day. I hope I made sense! Ciau.