If you are not interested in a continued relationship with this man you should probably try to be upfront with him on that point. If it is simply that you are now in the situation of needing to have an abortion and you don't want to argue over the abortion with this man so you are opting out of the relationship that is a bit tough...

To put it simply, if you are not interested in a future with this guy for reasons other than the abortion then tell him what those reasons are and keep the abortion to yourself.

If the degradation of the relationship was brought on by the fact that you now have to get an abortion then I would advise you to maybe consider telling him and to do it sooner than later.

One thing to remember, though, is that there are so many moving parts to this equation that there really isn't a set right answer. It just comes down to what works for you without causing too much emotional baggage.

I do want to make an observation that may not be popular...if this is your second abortion and it is evoking negative feelings (relating to the first) then perhaps you should re-evaluate your birth control methods to ensure that you do not have to face this terrible trauma again in life.

I am not judging as I am pro choice and have had an abortion myself. I am just worried for you. Accidents happen but there are a lot of options on the market these days like plan B (now offered in most states at your local pharmacy for a minimal fee). Condoms are free as are bc pills at planned parenthoods nationwide, and then there are even options that are not as well known such as spermacides. No matter what the method of birth control there is the handy and helpful plan B that can be used in conjunction with any of the above mentioned bc methods. It gives you peace of mind if used properly.

I know that even though I was too young to have a child and opted for abortion myself - it put me through quite a lot emotionally. After that point in my life, I made a pact with myself that I would not ever go through the terrible trauma (on both my body and my emotions) ever again and would do whatever I could to avoid it. I was on the pill and took it religiously and I always had plan B ready in my medicine cabinet in case I was ever not sure if my bc failed due to being on antibiotics or something. It just feels empowering to know for a fact that I was active in making sure I didn't have to get to the point where my choices were limited to having a child or having another abortion.

You are a smart, strong gal who has already been through enough pain with your previous abortion and an non-supportive and downright abusive partner so please know I am just hoping for the best for you. That is why I wanted to broach the subject of prevention of another abortion in the future.

One abortion is hard enough, I couldn't imagine the impact of two and especially if it makes you feel bad about yourself in any way. I just hope that after this hurdle you are going to be hurdle free in the future in order to make room the happiness you deserve!