I guess I will just have to talk and talk about this with my T. I think I once heard or read that if you talk about it enough, you will feel heard which will help the desire diminish. It's just a very hard process.

I spent most of last year grieving for what I never got and never will get. It was some of the most painful cries I have ever had. The last few weeks I felt I was getting better and transference was less. I think as I approach difficult subjects (grieving for my mom), the transference is stronger which triggers the unmet needs of childhood.

Intellectually I know what is possible and impossible, emotionally and in my heart I'm still just a kid.