Of course, nothing applies to everyone in all cases, that's for sure, but it does seem to apply in a great many cases, more than we realize.

We certainly can't create a new past, and working in therapy and on our lives so that we can get past our pasts (or at least put the past in its proper place instead of it ruling our present) is, for many of us, exactly what we are working on in therapy. Hard work though and can take years to get to that point. It certainly isn't a automatic change; it certainly isn't an easy change. That work takes time; often a very long time.

Understanding that I do have control over how I decide to react/respond to events in my present has been difficult to learn and harder to actually do with any sort of consistency. But I find reassurance and strength in knowing I do have control of that aspect of my being. I can't control my husband's illness. I can't control the stresses at my job or at home. I can't control much outside myself, but I DO have that. I do have control over my decision making, my activities, my attitude, and (most challenging) my reactions.