LOL, I love the story about the leaderless/overleadered groups building towers. And your (non) work-life really does sound like it could be a movie, something with Richard E. Grant.

I sometimes start to wonder if my emails don't go through, given how little response I get sometimes. Am I going straight into the spam filter? Whenever I've asked, it turns out that the person did get my email and it just fell through the cracks... and then I feel like they think I'm weird for asking. But just asking is good. The more invites you issue, the more likely someone will say yes, right?

I am so unsure about the personality/career test stuff. I feel like my personality isn't stable enough or something. When I worked for the company that sold those assessments, my answers were a bit confounding. One of our tools was supposed to measure permanent sorts of personality traits and interests. Most people who did the assessment got the same results in year 1 and year 10. Mine changed drastically within a couple of years.

I also tend to test very high on diametrical opposites i.e. both right brain and left brain, tactical and strategic etc. My Myers Briggs test results tend to be different every time and always right on the line between each of the categories... and I just took a DISC profile and got D, S, C.

Maybe it is in part due to my mood this week, but it just makes me feel like I don't fit into any real category, like I don't have a niche.

I do, at times, have an incredible amount of red energy. I've done and do a lot of stuff. I go to festivals, explore new places, attend lectures, etc. I go through phases where I don't feel like doing things that I feel like I *should* be doing, like working on cleaning my house (really basic stuff!). The 'doing nothing' ranges from fooling around online to puttering in the garden to reading all of Chekov or binge watching some crappy tv series.

It's hard to explain, my driven-ness. I am driven but undirected and unfocused. I am driven to live fully rather than to complete something for a particular outcome, maybe? Like right now I am out of town. I had a pretty full day walking around, went to some lectures and two museums. I went back to the hotel after the last museum because there's nothing interesting to do between now and dinner - but it feels sort of wrong, like I am wasting time, even though I am enjoying the view from my hotel window, and my feet appreciate the rest (it's been rainy! If the weather were better, I'd probably still be out there).

Anyway.

What happened with your convo with your boss this week? Do you have an assignment? Any word from the department full of people about to go out on maternity leave?

I've looked at those Craftsy courses too, but I haven't signed up. I wanted to take a sewing class in person last year, but I never got around to signing up. It takes me so long to thread the machine sometimes that I thought I would just embarrass myself I like in person classes more than online classes, I think. There's more opportunity to meet people, even if I don't always do it.