It sure sounds like he's rather irritable himself, if he jumps down your throat over windshield wipers.

If you're managing to work fulltime, you can't be expected to be as caregiving at home, as if being a homemaker was all you were doing. But, if you strike him as being demoralized, he is going to question if you're happy in the marriage.

I don't believe that mood disorders cause people to become depressed for absolutely no reason at all. The mood disorder makes us react more intensely to things. At least, that's been my experience. Something is bothering you, and it's not that you're depressed just because you're a depressive. Seeing someone down in the dumps can get old, if it goes on long enough. Then a husband is bound to think, "Hey, if something is bothering you, spit it out."

On the other hand, there is more to your life than your husband. He needs to understand that everything on your mind is not about your relationship with him. It sounds like you two don't really talk.

Medication is no cure all. I've always hated for anyone to respond to me having difficulty by saying, "Sounds like your meds need adjusting." He overestimates what meds can do. It's up to you to decide whether meds help you meet your goals or not. I'm sure you're competent to do that.

Don't give him mixed messages about psych drugs. Don't say,"Yes, I'ld probably be nicer to live with if I took some psych drugs, but I just won't do that." That's making it a battle of wills. Better to say, "I've decided that the downside of meds outweighs the upside at this point in my life, so I am staying medfree to do what is best for me right now. Take responsibility for your decision and frame it in a positive light. But, then, don't use the lack of meds as an excuse to be moody. One way or another - with meds, or without - it's up to you yo have a gameplan to nanage your mood disorder. Medication isn't the only tool. Have your own strategy, and share with him how you are working your own program . . . and what he can do in support of that. Say something more specific than, "Give me space."