Welcome to Psych Central (PC) johnbk. Sorry to hear you have been suffering from a difficulty in your relationship. The traditional concept of lovemaking is the man and woman join. It is a quick connection following by a quick ending.

A woman may require a half hour of touching and holding before she is ready for intimate touching. The experience of lovemaking can be enhanced if the man is willing to change his ways and rather than seek self satisfaction and quick orgasms, the man seeks to open the woman slowly emotionally.

If you want to read more about this Tantric or Taoists method of intimacy, there is a book here to describe in great detail.
http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Love-Sex-J...f+love+and+sex

Some people at PC will find a therapist will also help them sort out the roots of their relationship.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
http://www.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.