Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone
Then sending comfort and concern in modes that are not hugs. Whatever form you best receive that in, let that be what it is. The important thing is that it works for you.
There is one thing I can tell you, and that is that you DO matter! This is something that I struggle with a lot lately too, and have the same reaction -- that it is a lie(!) But in less mind-turbulent times, realize that the mattering is what's real, and that the other is a manifestation of how we're feeling about ourselves, and assuming that others must too. But they don't. They have their own minds, you will not infect them. I realize that might be hard to believe right now.
Do you have a Pdoc and/ or T? Are you taking your meds? Perhaps they need an adjustment. It'd be a really good idea to give them a call -- they need to know what is going on so they can help you. It's definitely worth breaking the silence
for. You CAN feel better, it's just going to take some help right now to make that happen. We all need a bit of help sometimes. It's ok. Being all topsy-turvy with torrents of thoughts is no fun! Truly, you cannot infect them. They can help you sort things out. Let them help, ok? Please?
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Dear inner-zone,
I wish you weren't struggling. I wish none of us were.
I'm not sure how I should proceed. I am under a care team who would usually see me once a week. But I went away for work and what with holidays I have not seen anyone for many weeks now. The last time I saw someone I played pretend and said all was fine.
I seem to trust less and less. I never know who is going to turn up and find the lack of continuity disturbing. I just tried to write you something but my wifi decided not to be and I lost what I wrote. Seems technology wants me to shut up too.
I see my family doc for blood test results on Monday. I am thinking of cancelling since he's going to mention my weight if I go. But I know that his wife was schizophrenic and he is not bad as doctors go. But still don't know if I can trust them. When you do you usually end up getting sectioned. I don't even know what they do with the coding for this site.
I wish there was a safe place to be. I don't know where to go ,they are always watching me when I sleep if I sleep I watch them watching me it's really quite ridiculous.