Quote:
Originally Posted by IfAnybodysListening
Ive been in and out of the hospital since I was 14 and all I learned was DBT skills. I try grounding myself and meditating but the feelings of death and self harm over whelm it. I'm in rehab now because all ive wanted to do is drink and smoke. Now ive reached aPoint where if I mess up one more time ill be sent away for the rest of my life. I even overdosed the other week but it just got me deeper in MHA but all I want is out. Death seems most reasonable but I even fail at that.
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You are clearly in deep distress and I wish I could help. When I was in the midst of very bad PTSD I also found mindfulness and grounding to only make me feel worse. All that got me through was an excellent therapist. Are you in therapy? It sounds like you need more help than you are getting. Thoughts of death are not to be taken lightly. Please seek help if you are not already. We can keep listening and offer our support but we cannot get you out of this. take care, your life is worth it.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD
"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."
'Karma Police' by Radiohead