I'm not sure, Rhap, but since they are so twisted together, and that seems painful for you, surely entangling it would be better for you?

And I'm sure it won't break your marriage on its own... if you have doubts about your partner, then this meeting won't change that, but may just be the catalyst to make those doubts come to life faster, if you get my meaning.

But it sounds like your marriage is strong, so don't torture yourself with what might happen, hard though that is. Just remember that you deserve to be happy, and do whatever it takes to make that come about. If that involves not meeting with your father, then that's fine, I'm sure he'll understand if he thinks about it and what you've been through.

Good luck
-Meander